My cancer diary:
Thursday - February 22, 2001
[total: day 18]

"The sore throat is getting better slowly, so is the cold. I am quite sure that it is also due to my being at home and no longer in the hospital.

Today I am going to address an issue which has now become relevant again. The question about getting infertile as a side effect of the chemotherapy - or better: the question whether or not to freeze some of my sperm for a certain period of time just to be sure. As the chemotherapy will obviously not commence before the weekend, probably even later, I would have a chance to see a gynaecologist or a cryotechnical expert.

A lot of people have expressed their thoughts about this topic. They have thought about various aspects: Some call it an ethical question, some call it a religious, some even just a biological one. To me it is is down to whether or not I want my potential children to be fathered by another person and not by my wife and me. It is about the act of bringing my wife's egg together with my sperm by an expert with technical instruments on a table. It is about my feeling that the creation of new life is a sacred thing and my strong doubts whether I would want to have it done in such an unnatural way.
My wife and I have briefly discussed the issue a few times since I first got the cancer diagnosis. I have always argued that I have a bad feeling about it and thus disagree with sperm being freezed.

Nevertheless I start surfing the Internet and looking for general information about the procedure. I learn that there are two places in Düsseldorf where I could find doctors who are members of a national reproduction group whose technology and quality system look promising. I phone my health insurance companies and quickly learn that caring for unborn and unfathered future life is not part of what they pay for. I also phone the first of the two medical practises, but cannot get through. It seems as if they are closed today. The second practise is open and I speak to T., a young assistant who tells me that no doctor will be available until the end of this week due to the carneval period in Düsseldorf. I explain my problem and she quickly agrees that I should try to be there tomorrow morning. She will see what she can do then."

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PS: This diary reflects just my very own opinion. - You might be also interested to read further details in doerings.net general section about testicular cancer.