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"Andrea and I had a great weekend. We relaxed by visiting
some historical sites like castles along the river Neckar, monasteries
or well preserved late-medieval villages. We made picknicks in beautiful
landscape,- the area east of Heidelberg is truly worth visiting
- and met a good old friend of mine on Sunday.
We leave the hotel in Neunkirchen on time this Monday morning and Andrea
drives us to Heidelberg. The nearer we come to the city center the more
nervous and worried I become.
How foolish, it's just another opinion we are after.
I am so distracted that I tell Andrea to go north instead of south at
a certain junction. We lose about fifteen minutes.
The hospital is being refurbished at the moment. A lot of noise and some
dust outside, but inside it is just like every other hospital I have been
to, though being quite modern. It is 15 minutes before our appointment
is scheduled when we enter the building. D.'s office is on the third floor.
I have to fill out a form with address details, business as usual.
Minutes later, D. asks us to come into one of the examination rooms.
We introduce ourselves and I quickly explain why we are here. It turns
out that he and A. know each other and are both team members of a cancer
committee in Germany.
I had prepared some overview pages with the most important information
regarding my testicular cancer and the opinions from the team at
home. After some inquiries from D. and a talk of about 15
minutes in total he leaves the room with all the CT scans and x-rays
to see his colleagues. We are asked to wait for his return.
It is like another time appearing in front of the Last Judgement. It
is getting worse as time passes. 10, 15, 20 minutes...
When he returns he explains that the radiologist and his team are not
sure about the lung locations either. Nevertheless and especially because
of the size decreases of the suspicious masses at the bases of the right
and the left lung that can be observed on the picture of the second CT,
they favour the interpretation of metastases.
That makes me a stage III patient now. Still with good prognosis but
as the metastases have spread into the area above the retroperitoneum
it's no longer IIB. Puh!
D.'s recommendation is to apply a third chemo-cycle (as is standard for
stage III) followed by a thoracotomy, the RPLND is less critical to him.
As Andrea and me seem a little bit shocked he offers a quick visit to
the thorax surgeon. Without having an appointment, just by making a phone
call, we get a meeting with Di. We are immediately taken by D. to his
colleague Di. who checks the critical CT scans. He also supports the recommendation
of D. and of the radiologists: A thoracotomy is mandatory.
We return to D.'s office and fire away a lot of questions. All are answered.
Only the uncertainty about the lung locations remains. It has become less
science but more guesswork and art now.
At the end of the meeting totalling at two hours D. dictates the report
in front of Andrea and me. Both of us have a good feeling and calm down
eventually. I particularly like the interdisciplinary approach.
When we leave the hospital again, I feel dazzled. What will A. back home
reply to this?
I call A.'s secretary to make an appointment for tomorrow. 13:00, we will
have to leave Heidelberg early on Tuesday morning.
We drive to Heidelberg, check in at the hotel which I had booked earlier.
It's in the center of the town and we spend the afternoon and evening
in Heidelberg.
The later it gets the more twisted my brain becomes. Is that now the
best way of handling this disease? What will happen if A. disagrees?
Well, quite easy. Then it's us and eventually me making the final decision!
Still I would feel better if we had a common agreement..."
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PS: This diary reflects just my very own opinion. - You might be also
interested to read further details in doerings.net general section
about testicular cancer.
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